u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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