my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
