Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
