I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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