don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
