Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
