Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Randomize
