You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I will pee on everything he values.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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