when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
