he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize