how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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