Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Your cock deserves a montage
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Randomize
