ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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