Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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