I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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