You're my little dorito
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Randomize
