And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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