Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
