i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
You know, be my cock's hype man.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
