I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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