I need to stop coming to work sober
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
so much tequila, so little girl.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
