At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
