Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
