id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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