How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
