Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
May the power of my ass compel you!!
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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