i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
