Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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