We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
