since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
