hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize