Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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