dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
