i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
