it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
