no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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