It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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