His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Randomize
