Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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