Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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