You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
