woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
