im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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