I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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