Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
my phone needs a breathalizer
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
