just tell him i said nine months
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Come on in and take your pants off
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