I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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