that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
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