i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
