But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
