i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
