Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
