Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Do you have feelings for this penis?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
