I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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