it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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