Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
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