doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
you inspire me to be a worse person
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize