Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
