i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
My balls are so social today.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
