Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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