So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
the night ended with taco bell and tears
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
