Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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